My apologies for not giving you a Son.


My apologies for not giving you a Son.
We have a very nice house.  We have a pool.  We have lots of money in the bank(I think).
You have good friends.  You have a husband that speaks your language, who is usually gone away on business, thus not able to say anything when you buy that overpriced rug and $10 a lb shrimp.
What more can you ask for?  Not good enough, eh?
Not if you are a Chinese woman.
 Now you say you want a son. 
A what?   But we already have two gorgeous girls, right?  Ivory skin, tomato red lips.  Flowing dark hair. Imagine Anne Hathaway as a child.  Smart. They would never be mistaken for being half Chinese.    They look as much Italian as Asian.
Sorry we couldn’t get it done….what can I say?  My grandma had 5 girls.  My brother had a girl.  My sis had 2 boys.  It’s fate.  But don’t dwell on it. 
No, we’re not going to do what your other terribly bored 40 something  year old friends do, and have another kid.   Have it with someone else in your quest for a son.   
See, I got fixed for a reason.   Kinda reverse women’s lib, if you know what I mean.
But seriously, you wanting to have a kid at your age, is typical Chinese “only child” selfishness, run amuck.   I suspect  there’s more to it than that, though.   You having a son is your way of asking your parents for forgiveness for marrying a barbarian.    Am I still having to justify myself even now?
You say you’re bored?   We can fix that.
Why not get a job?
Train for a marathon?
Go back to school?
Run for the school board?
Isn’t this kid gonna need his  tuition paid for right around the time I retire on my $500 a month Social Security.  Who the hell’s gonna pay for that?  You really want to have a son struggle in our country 20 years from now?   Isn’t life for a man tough enough now?  My dear, the future is bleak.  Don’t put more of our kids in it.
That reminds me, he’ll be needing a lot of advice from me, abt the time he’s 30 and I’m 75.  You think I’ll still be alive to give it to him? 
Well, I have a question, too dammit. 
Why don’t my daughters have blue eyes?  

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