The worst sex I've ever had with China Girl is with China Wife

 I stop this regularly scheduled series to bitch about China Wife.  Sex with China Wife sucks(I just made a pun),  and if she doesn't start "sucking" more, I'm gonna start banging my head(another one!) against the wall.

Simply put, we need more sex in the Fontenot Household.   But upon accomplishing that, we need more excitement as well.   When I'm allowed to jump on Mrs. Fontenot, I can already tell you how scripted the sex will be.   And I know what will and what will not happen, as well.  We basically have three sexual positions.  One of which is her on top, and is rarely performed. 

So let me stop right here all you fans of China Girl;  you must be sexually in sync with China Girlfriend.  One of you cannot be a "five times a week" fiend and the other only once a week.  You must be on the same page.  Or else a few years down the road you will become mired in that great swamp of lowered expectations. 

Regarding China Wife and her lack of sexual proclivity, I'm apt to simply put this down as a "China Girl from the 80's"  phenomena. Alas, is every girl from eighties' China like my wife?  I don't think so....

Or is my wife's lack of ability or interest simply average for her generation? Or did I simply get caught between the boring generation(anything before the 80's) and the let's have fun generation(anything after 2000)?

Let me bring up an historical point:  Chinese have been fucking for at least 5000 years, and seem to be quite good at it. one ever said they were reading Jin Ping Mei (before any of you start criticizing me for swearing in my own damn blog, go educate yourself on that book, Peasant). 

The reasons the Chinese screwed so much seemed to be not only to get more hands for the fields, but quite frankly, also to simply pass the time.  Again, the civilization that became China is older than not only the wheel, but also the so called domestication of the horse.  These folks' ability to  last from this time until now is quite frankly reflective of their ability to screw.  

More impressive is that until now, the Chinese on a regular basis had famine, drought, and war on a nearly generational basis.   Killing millions at a time.   I would argue that sex was not really looked upon always as pleasurable as much as a simple household duty to be taken upon by the peasant wife.  

From the most basic social unit, the family, the survival of China's crops depended upon it.  A village could not simply survive unless it had crops to plow and harvest.  

And perhaps an unfortunate consequence of such a need was that sex simply became more functional than a pleasurable experience upon itself.    As such I firmly believe China Wife would be more suited for living 5000 years ago in China than now.  She is that bad in the sack.

Me thinks thou does protest too much?


I was told recently by an old friend of mine to stop being spoiled by having sex with women half my age.  It simply creates false expectations.  Well...I've had sex with older women too, and a few of them can go thrust for thrust as well.

I need to be clear:  I'm not talking about how little sex I get.  I'm talking about the type of sex I get from China Wife.  I want to be fair.  Again:

China Wife is sexier today than she was from the beginning.  Her body is better.  She is more endowed, perhaps from the American diet.....(?).  In my view, she has aged quite well.  When she is on top of me, she is a sight to behold.  Those beautiful tits just bouncing before my eyes.  But someday I will write about what I'm increasingly believing was the true love of my life.  She had no tits whatsoever, and was ten times more fun in bed.  

I'm middle aged for sure.  I get it.  Every woman at this time of their life is supposed to slow down.  To lose "the urge".  Blah, blah, blah.

I understand my sex drive may be a bit out of sync.  I would be happy to have sex four times a week.  I happily settle for less than that.  However, what I will not settle for is the feeling I get when I do get laid.

My wife is happy beyond belief that I still find her attractive.  And I do.  And I cut her slack.  She was simply raised in an emotionless family.  She never saw her parents hug, or hold hands.  He still refers to her as "laoshi" and she to him as "xiansheng".   But in their old age something magical happened;  they began holding hands.   But they haven't had sex since Nixon.  This is a fact.   They've slept separately as long as China Wife can remember.

I for one remember when my parents got hold of a Kodak.  I was in third grade.  They went into their bedroom and made strange yelping noises while I watched TV.   I could hear the click of the camera for several minutes.  My parents could not have been any further from China Wife's parents in upbringing.   My parents are both high school dropouts.  My wife's parents are both college graduates.

But my wife's parents were icy cold towards each other.  It was like a freezer.  My parents were way too explicit, yet I was too young to ever understand it was weird.  I do remember my mom's frequent reminders to me to "not come in" to their bedroom while her and dad were taking a nap. 

China Wife's parents very much look down upon my parents.  Which doesn't bother me a bit.  Because the only thing that should be important to them is who their daughter married, not the jobs or income of my parents.  China Wife still utters I could never have married an American Woman, because no woman would ever want to marry someone from my social background.  I utter back I would never have to marry an American Woman because I'd  be screwing half of China's Women in the interim. (Ok, I've never said that, but as I write this, it sounds like a cool comeback next time she brings it up!) 

Why do I bring up the above?  It's my Hail Mary attempt to give some type of reasonable explanation for China Wife's behavior.  And you know what?  I don't think there's really much of a connection between China Wife's childhood and her decided lack of ability in bed.  None.

I'm tired of haranguing China Wife to have sex with me.  Then I'm tired of her refusing to get off her back during sex, unless she gets on top.  Which she will do maybe 30% of the time.  When that happens, to me it is a clear sign she is enjoying herself.   The look on her face shows it.

But then it's back to the back.   Sometimes she's dry.  I've told her I want to buy lotions but she rebels when I bring it up.   What's a horny laowai to do?  When having sex in the past with other Chinese Women I was in charge.  I led the way.  They followed.   There was never any pushback whatsoever.  None.  With China Wife there are no audibles.  I literally do all the damn work.  Which in itself is soul crushing. 

I want to be fair.  I understand in today's Modern China married couples really stop having sex at an early age, or it is greatly reduced.  I think this is because of two reasons:  These are predominantly arranged marriages, and the fact China Man isn't the best he can be, if you now what I mean.  But these are younger generation couples.  Which paradoxically in my mind goes a long way toward explaining why China Man likes to hang out in clubs with his friends. 

So I guess I'll simply have to wait for my own libido to get in sync with China Wife's.  That may be quite the wait.  


  1. I would venture a guess that this is how many (maybe even most?) marriages are like after a few years, regardless of where the people are from. The gap between men’s and women’s libido is widely reported. It’s also quite common that couples lose passion after spending lots of time together and there’s plenty written about this (usually suggestions for how to bring the spark back).

    But is it necessary for two people to be able to completely (and I mean 100%, as felt by each person) fulfil each other’s sexual desire indefinitely if they wish to spend their lives together, have a family, care for each other etc? If you enjoyed eating a meal made by someone else because your wife is too tired to cook (just an example, not suggesting a stereotype), would your wife be happy for you? Would she similarly be happy for you to fulfil your sexual desire when she’s not feeling like it?

    Would it change the fact that you love her and still want to be with her, even though sometimes she doesn’t feel like cooking and you eat elsewhere?

    I appreciate the analogy is a bit crude, but what would be the ultimate issue? How would the Mosuo people (or any other group that doesn’t believe in the “standard” definition of marriage) think about this?

    1. Of course you are right. It is in all societies, not just the Chinese society. I just find it more amplified within the Chinese. I think most of the Chinese I come across, even before middle age, have lost their "sense of libido", shall we say. I've posted in the past about this. One lady I had an affair with complained she only had sex once a month for instance. In conclusion she wasn't in love with me. Rather, I just fulfilled a need.

      Find a partner you are compatible with. That is the key.

    2. Agree with you here that compatibility is the key. It’s not easy to predict who we’ll become 5+ years down the line though. For a married couple to separate primarily because of libido divergence doesn’t feel like an elegant solution... in my mind each partner should be concerned with the other’s happiness. If you have a hobby of fixing washing machines and it puts me to sleep, why not spend some time with friends who share the same hobby. Sex is no different I think. I wonder if China wife would believe otherwise. Is it something that could be up for discussion?

  2. I just love your phrase, "libido divergence". You should coin it. No, China Wife wants it both ways. To screw once a week, but then take 50% if I find my relief elsewhere.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

KTV in China

Pros and Cons of a Chinese Wife