Urgent Personal Questions and Concerns for the Upcoming Glorious New Year!
My list of prompt concerns that have my immediate attention and must be immediately allayed! As regards my wife Will I perhaps receive oral sex or some type of variation(don’t ask) from you this coming year? Anything? Anything at all? Yes….being old doesn’t mean The Man(that’s me) has lessened his expectations in life. There’s a reason men like younger women, dear. Will I be allowed more than say two sexual positions (with you of course) in the upcoming Year of the Sheep? Of course I remember when I said “don’t worry as long as I get off its all good.” Well, honey, I was lying. Why don’t you watch a little bit of porn sometime? Study up a bit. What’s that you say? There is a 10 point Math Quiz tomorrow that dictates 3 hours of study time, yelling and emotional abuse towards one of our kids? Oh well, than, nevermind. What are the odds of you growing your hair out long and sexy, like it used to be “back in the day”? I need something to hold onto.