My China Kanfa.....China on My Mind

“This post makes me feel sick. Coming across this blog accidentally - I find it absolutely degrading and disgusted as an American born Chinese woman. You speak as if Chinese women were objects, not human beings. What rights do you have to tell the world for what steps they have to take in order to marry a Chinese woman. How am I any different than you, let alone anyone else? Oh yeah, let me just tell some Chinese woman how to marry a Western man. Like fuck, who the hell wants to be degraded? You are disgusting, this post is disgusting, this blog is digusting, and so are your followers. You don't have any rights to teach anyone how to marry a Chinese woman, let alone telling ME how I should be. Fuck off, and I'm glad you a got a woman who can cater to your every needs so that no other woman can be tricked into your mindless stupidity. OH BTW, JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT- I'M AN ABC. “ Above is the post I’ve been waiting for, for quite some time, and it’s alas finally

Here I am.  A businessmen.  I have spent since 2005 approx 50-60% of my time in China each year.  Sometimes I go for 2 months nonstop.  Until recently I had an apartment.  Then I decided to not renew the lease.   I wanted the flexibility of a hotel.   My rare, fancy 2 year visa, after many renewals, has now gone the way of the dinosaur, and I find I’m now back on the traditional one year multiple re-entry.   I am amused when companies fret about their workers having “an authorized residence permit”.  I haven’t had one in over twenty years.   I expect I will never have another.   For those of us that live and work near Hong Kong what’s the point?  But more about this below. My wife, her friends….they all judge my level of success by the frequency I travel to China.   China, much more than America, is a nation where one’s status is driven by “achievement”.    “What tall building have we built today?  How fast are our supercomputers”? So it is also the status of an individual

The phone call came in my last semester of graduate school.   I had several housemates, but the voicemail was addressed to me.   A mysterious voice asking if I’d be interested in “an international opportunity”.     The voice of the fellow sounded somewhat middle aged, but not too old.  I was rather anxiously looking for a job at that time.  So upon hearing the voicemail again, I called the number given to me. The same fellow answered and promptly told me the vaguely described job would be with the CIA.  In a matter of seconds he described the job as a “NOC” position.  I asked him what that was.  He explained to me that NOC stood for “non official cover”.     I still didn’t get it.   He further explained that I would be “stationed in China, preferably for at least 20 years, the longer the better”.   He told me he was a retired former CIA man himself, living in Washington.  He bemoaned the price of housing, but counted himself lucky for having bought his house decades ago. I w

A quick word today, the day after Independence Day.   I’ve just started to read “Vietnam: A History” by Stanley Karnow.  I expect it will be a good book, akin to the Best and Brightest by Halberstam, another good book. For some reason, I only have made it to page 11 when the word “Exceptionalism” reared its ugly head.  Nothing like notions of grandeur to make a person…a nation feel invincible, to do things and worry about the consequences later.  I have a post that will probably not go up until the Fall, that I’ve been thinking about for at least a year, formulating it in my mind.  Putting things to paper is a much more detailed process than simply thinking about something.   Thinking about something is much more direct, “as the crow flies”, but putting it to paper is never as direct nor as quick.  It is time consuming.  As a boy and then as a young man I came across the concept of Exceptionalism and Manifest Destiny.  The secret in America’s sauce you might say.   Oh we

I’ve spoken ad nausea about what my inlaws think of me.   Now it’s my family’s turn to give their opinion of my Hangzhou Wife.  I’ve been with my wife for 23 years.  She’s been very kind to my parents.(when in a good mood)  She calls my dad “dad”, and my mom “mom”.    She’s been patient towards them.  In short, my parents and my mom and dad get along well.  The “trick” is distance.    They live by plane about 90 minutes away.  We invite them over to our house once every couple of years, and make sure they only stay a few days.   Contrast this with my inlaws staying 3-6 months of the year(down from year long visits thank God). The important thing is I am able to live without my parents.  The bond isn’t just there.   I do speak with my dad a lot, via a prepay phone that I got him, but I rarely speak to my mother.    If I was close to my parents would this effect my relationship with my wife?  If I was a momma’s boy?   Perhaps. The fact that I’m neither of the above I bel