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Postscript: The Chinese phrase I dislike the most.

Postscript...I've added a link below as regards Mandarin usage. The Chinese phrase I dislike the most.  No, it’s not “mei you banfa”.  中国就是这样 …zhongguo jiu shi zheyang. I disdain this phrase.  To the core.  It speaks volumes of China, of it’s aspirations, and it’s well                       understood hopelessness.  It explains why change doesn’t come about, and when it does, it is non-hurried.   It explains the lack of urgency, in general, on everything.  “This is the way China is”, or “That’s just the way China is.” When wishing to have a discussion based on logic, and reason, a decisive end to any conversation can be had by just uttering the above.  There is nothing subtle about it.  There is no debate. Rather, the fellow across the table, whether it be a business discussion, a discussion about society, or what have you, will by default refuse, or be unable  to give a logical, common sense answer to a problem, regardless of the topic, by simply utter

My apologies for not giving you a Son.

My apologies for not giving you a Son. We have a very nice house.  We have a pool.  We have lots of money in the bank(I think). You have good friends.  You have a husband that speaks your language, who is usually gone away on business, thus not able to say anything when you buy that overpriced rug and $10 a lb shrimp. What more can you ask for?  Not good enough, eh? Not if you are a Chinese woman.  Now you say you want a son.  A what?   But we already have two gorgeous girls, right?  Ivory skin, tomato red lips.  Flowing dark hair. Imagine Anne Hathaway as a child.  Smart. They would never be mistaken for being half Chinese.    They look as much Italian as Asian. Sorry we couldn’t get it done….what can I say?  My grandma had 5 girls.  My brother had a girl.  My sis had 2 boys.  It’s fate.  But don’t dwell on it.  No, we’re not going to do what your other terribly bored 40 something  year old friends do, and have another kid.   Have it with someone else in your quest f

Hey young laowai! So you think you want to marry a nice Chinese girl? Slow down!

Why the foreigner isn’t compatible with a modern day Chinese girl. I’ve been reading up on Chinasmack, etc, recently, like a lot of you, following the conversations, the threads, as regards Chinese women, and us laowai men.  Usually the writers are pissed off angry, Chinese men.  Almost always, such as in the recent stories as regards Chinasmack, they use extreme examples of foreigners, in a very poor light, to demonstrate their point. I will say here that for the first time in awhile, a fellow writing about such a topic, did indeed have some valid points.  That is, that we Western men start earlier, and thus by the time we come to China, are already vastly superior to our counterparts in sexual experience.   And there is also the age factor to add on top of that.   I agree.   However, I do not agree with his exaggerations(we all lose our virginity around 14!), but with his generalization on the above two points above.   I also agree with his point that we wind up with women

Pros and Cons of a Chinese Wife

I’m starting to like this whole blog thing.  Great alternative to therapy! I’ve been with the same woman for 22 years, and I’m the first to admit I lack the wrinkles to show it. Pros…… Your kids will learn an instrument, whether they like it or not! It will probably be piano, but who cares. They will learn how to be filial. This is not just to their relatives but to anyone who is Chinese and older.  Every old lady will be called “ayi” and fellow “shu shu”. They will probably go to a Chinese school on weekends, and get up to speed on their characters. Your wife will do all the cooking.  Why is that?  Because she hates yours!   More on that later. Your wife will do a very competent job managing the household.  She will be obsessed with the kids studies…..not just Math, but even stuff she has no business teaching the kids…American Revolution, and Predicate Nouns….(isn’t this my job?) They don’t gain that much weight.  My wife was 96 lbs when I married her, and is

How to really learn Chinese. Seriously

I’ve read on linkedin and other sites various idea and methodologies on how best to learn the Chinese language.   I’ve seen a lot of good advice.   Unfortunately, almost all of the things I’ve read are out of context, and do not take a serious effort to address one’s ability to learn the language.  That is, the advice is for casual learners only.  Below is my view on how to best learn Chinese, for the serious student.    If you are only wanting to learn Chinese in a casual sense, than the below can be cherry picked.  ·          If you are serious abt learning Mandarin, you need to be young.  The assumption I have is that older folks with careers will not have the time, plain and simple.     ·          A serious student needs to be no later than in their early 20’s to begin.  I had just turned 23 when I first came here, and could only count to 10.              A student needs to dedicate himself to the language.   That means one cannot work a fulltime job.