Showing posts from July, 2013

Whiney Laowai

It’s hard to be a laowai today in China…….the inevitable article. Today’s Laowai in China have it hard.  No longer a curiosity, people today just don’t think of us as much of a waibing(foreign guest) as they used, too.   No one allows us to cut to the front of the line.   No one walks up to the street anymore asking “can I help you?”  People still stare….just not like they used too, ie as if we were aliens.  Animosity has become commonplace towards the laowai.  They think we’re all pimps…the dregs of our own society.  Outcasts.  As China is the place where all things go to get recycled alas, we send the grist of our steak to China as well.  However, dare I say that for the newly arrived laowai of the past several years…..boy do you have it good! Oh where to begin……..let’s reminisce: Fast food…… Yep, life is nice when you can load up on a McDonald’s bfast!   Or get a pizza!  And it doesn’t have to be at Pizza Hut! When I first came here we had none of thos

Do you have a Tigerwife?

Do you have a Tigerwife? Does your wife ask you why you hired a female employee? Does she flat out say “no” when you tell her you are considering hiring a female employee? Does she get upset when you take a picture with a female coworker? If your wife lives in America(or any other country) and you are stationed in China, does she get upset  when you take an overnight trip unless you tell her the reason for the trip, the name of the hotel you are staying, and the phone number?   Nevermind you have a cell number. (don’t forget the charger like I did!) Does your wife get upset when your phone ghost calls her at 3am(while she’s in America) while you are clubbing?  Does she retaliate by calling you the next evening 46 times to see what you are up to? Does your wife ask you why you went to a movie theater to see a movie rather than stay home and watch it alone on DVD?   Does she than pester you as to who you saw the movie with?(no one goes to a theater alone, right

Sex in China 1990

Sex in China 1990。。。。Part 3 in my continuing series.  No idea when I'll write 4 though.  Upon my arrival to China I had been with a steady lady.  She was a nice girl.  Orphaned as a child, and than adopted.   She was loving, caring, and cute.   She talked dirty.  I loved it.  We had great meals together, long walks through San Francisco.   To this day, she even checks me out via social media..(I can see you,dear).     She simply lacked one thing;  space.   Smothering?  Oh yeah.    Give me a woman that will spend the night than leave me alone for a day or so.    She wasn’t that girl, and I saw China increasingly as a salvation, as an escape.   I distinctly recall the tremendous sense of relief I had when I woke up in Hong Kong at 5am my first day away from America.    I was overcome with a soothing feeling of liberation. Once I got here I was so focused on learning Mandarin, to make the most of my stay before my Peace Corps stint started, that I honestly, truly believe

Why did China not discover the New World?

(This is the first in a series of 3 planned articles as to how decisions made by China literally changed the course of both Chinese and World History.   The decisions made at the time all eventually being detrimental to China.  Speculation of course is both fun, and a part of the story.) Zheng He and the Ming Dynasty Voyages Zheng He was a Chinese Muslim who became China’s greatest sailor and seafarer.  He was an explorer in the great European tradition that was soon to follow.   Zheng He was not a Han Chinese, and indeed, was not born in what was then considered China.   He was born in modern day Yunnan province, and not until a Chinese army invaded and conquered this Muslim dominated region was he incorporated into the Chinese Empire. A captive of the invading army, Zheng He was castrated(along with the other captives) and eventually became a Eunuch. Zheng He right upon capture had a great stroke of luck.  At the age of 10, he was placed into the household of a fello

The last performance review I ever had.

I knew it was coming.  After nearly 6 years in the company and as many bosses,  along with an utter change in business model, I knew my time was up.   Our company had grown from a small insurance repair organization to a behemoth.   As such, while people like myself did all the work and actually created value for the organization, our VP’s were applauded for their efforts, and their ability to “manage” people, and thus were promoted on, or lateralled out to other divisions.   The hope was they would be able to work their magic there as well. This in turn opened up a continuous flow of fresh blood.  People were needed to replace the upper echelon of Sr mgt.  It never occurred to hire from within.   The obvious choice was simple:  let’s hire people from the same previous company our boss worked at!  Nevermind that company had gone bankrupt, and thus was nothing if not a monument to the stupidity of it’s Sr mgt.    So we did.  Nevermind they had no product knowledge of where t

The Ugly American and the Ugly Chinese

The Ugly American and The Ugly Chinese As regard the laowai, I’m only focusing on Americans because I am one, and somebody always gets a bit unhappy  when I analyze the laowai as one group.  The ugly American comes to China and you guessed it, expects everyone to speak English.  Especially the taxi driver.   (Can’t you speak English!) He goes to laowai pubs and hits on Chinese women when her boyfriend(me) is in the Gent’s Room.   The ugly American is loud, and quite frankly, just won’t shut the fuck up.   He see’s a pretty woman on the street and chases her down, thinking all he has to do is say “I’m from America” and she’ll give him her number.   The ugly American hits on a woman(in English) two nanoseconds after she’s walked into the club.   This ugly male will undress any woman with his eyes in a club, making her forever feel we are all here just to get laid, and nothing else. However he is sly, and careful enough  NOT to buy her a drink.     This animal even

Interested in China? This is a good start......

China 1990 Part 2

China 1990…..Part 2 How the Chinese college students lived, and how life was in general. Being a Chinese student at a Chinese university was worse than Hell.   No, I did not experience their dorm life, and I didn’t have to.  In my young naivete, I tried though.  I’m glad the powers that be saw through my pigheadedness,  stood their ground,  and refused me the same rite of passage that every student of a Chinese university at that time had to endure.    “Ignorance is bliss” is a phrase coined just for the above occasion. But I want to be fair. Two positive things about being a student in China in the 80’s are simple:  school was absolutely free, and the government assigned you a job.  So there was nothing akin to a competitive interview, or any pressure buildup over having a proper resume.  There was no worry about whethe one would have a job.  Within this context, the Chinese students led a carefree, happy life   However, I found the conditions to be a bit different from wha