Talking about Hunxue

I have two utterly gorgeous daughters.  One has just started middle school.  Another is still in grade school.  I haven’t decided who they will look more like, either  Anne Hathaway or Sandra Bullock as they both have dark hair and ivory skin with tomato red lips.  Never in a million years would you guess they are half Chinese, nor able to speak excellent Mandarin.   Yet if I were to tell you they are Italian, you would believe me.  To my regret they both have brown eyes. (I just can’t defeat 5000 years of genes)

But they are different.  Make no mistake, they share indelible American traits.  Each licks her fingers after a snack, for instance.   Each picks the bones from their mouth with their fingers, rather than spitting them on to the table.  But each of my daughters I am convinced shares the physical traits and tastes predominantly of just one culture.  One has a Western face, with Western lids, eyelashes, etc, the other does not.   She also isn’t very fond of rice, and loves meat.  She’s the drama queen of the family.

We have to go to war to get her to play her piano. 

The other one far away is 听话 。  To her mother’s approval  she plays both piano and finishes all her homework without much prompting.   She is more of an introvert.  She loves rice.  In short, she is more “Chinese”. 

Don’t believe me?  I’m being stereotypical?  Alright than.   The youngest one loves 甲鱼 (soft shelled turtle…with the character for fish!).

 Disgusting. 

I mean, who in the hell will eat turtle?  Well, the Chinese do(I’m sure other cultures do as well).

(My wife brought some home the other day.  Being back in America and all, I had to ask just where she got this from.  She said the “Chinese mkt”.  Apparently the mkt “farms turtle” for consumption)

My daughter was so excited to eat turtle she was ready to do cartwheels.  

Sure enough later in the day, after I had forgotten all about the the poor little turtle, I noticed there was a large pot steaming something on the stove.  Without thinking I raised the lid, only to see the glazed, gray eyes of a turtle staring back at me. 

It remains a mystery to me why someone that eats turtle would be unwilling to eat Dad’s world famous(in my mind) chili…..?

Indeed, dinnertime has now become a bit of a Cold War between my wife and I.  I try to get them to eat my dishes while Mom tries to get them to eat hers.   I brought some fried chicken home tonight, and asked my Little One if she wanted a chicken leg?(she loves legs).  Before she could answer, her mom only half in jest told her to “stick with the turtle, it’s so much healthier than that bad American food.”  

My daughter dug into her turtle soup.

The burden of the Hunxue.

While living in China I’ve had the unfortunate visual experience of seeing ugly 混血.   More than a few. Yet most Chinese think just because a child is half Chinese and half non Chinese that he/she is gorgeous beyond description!  Fail.  (now is not the time for PC….the conventional meaning of a hunxue is half Chinese and half Western)

I imagine an ugly lady from Hangzhou….there are a few…probably has the same dilemma.

We all know the saying abt 杭州出美女 right?  Well…what if you are both from Hangzhou and ugly?  The psychological impact on that poor homely girl must be enormous!  So deeply engrained are Chinese beliefs and sayings, that a less than attractive lady from Hangzhou must endure quite a lot when she travels beyond Hangzhou.  (I would dare guess that she probably gives another hometown when asked)

So it is in China for the “Hunxue”, those that are of mixed Sino and Non Sino blood.  I was shopping the other day and saw a strawberry blond girl with those narrow Chinese eyes, and freckles.  Her skin was that of an albino, but I’m sure she wasn’t.   I could only speculate her father had red hair.    Just because you are “half and half” does not mean you will grow up to be Kate Upton.

So though both of my daughters (at the end of the day) are very much American, they will continue to evolve.   They are both scheduled to go back to China the coming summer.   As they get older, I wonder if they will be able to continue to enjoy their mother’s hometown?  Will they be able to appreciate the wonders of Hangzhou?  As they become young adults how will they see themselves?  

How will they respond when they return to China and are treated differently?   How will they respond psychologically when the Chinese call them 外国人？  My kids have a lot to learn.  They’ve yet to hear the word 老外。 

Will they be able to reconcile their individual feeling of “Chineseness” with the viewpoint of the Chinese themselves? 

Once in awhile they like to say “I’m Chinese”.   The only problem with that, I tell them, is the Chinese don’t consider you Chinese!  

“You are only part Chinese, but you are not a real Chinese”, I can hear them say now…..

We will have our hunxue issues here in the States’ as well.   When applying to University, we already know they will not apply as Asians(the Kiss of Death!).   But can I honestly say they are “Other”?  I want every last advantage I can get.  Having them apply as “White” may simply just make them part of a larger pool of applicants.

Though we Americans tend to think these are distinctly “American” issues, I’m sure as other countries have become more heterogeneous they in turn have the same issues, ie diversity. (Not too many Whites… Not too many of any one thing)

I’m now even wondering who the older will eventually have as a boyfriend?  Unlike almost all the other Chinese kids here, they are able to mingle both in and outside of Chinese circles.   She has a built in advantage, though.  Unlike some of the other parents, hers won’t be aghast should she bring home a barbarian.