My China Kanfa.....China on My Mind

So you’ve ignored the signs.  Single child? Check Wealthy, ie spoiled, never had the pressure to urgently go out into the world and make a mark…..check Mother in law is a “won’t shut the fuck up” pain in the ass “know it all needs to get on a plane and get to NY to give a speech to the UN and tell them how to solve all the world’s problems type”…..Big Time Check. But let us not just blame the M&L.  Nope.  Can’t do that. ( to use a bit of 70’s, English, “No Way Jose”) But if you really want to have a successful “marriage”, than you really need to understand the dynamic of the M&L and the Daughter, before you do.   And nearly all Laowai do not.  Simple as that.  Because it’s that dynamic that will decide how happy you are….or possibly not. There are two more culprits, equally culpable in this downward spiral of vitriol and neverending angst.  Who the fuck are they, you ask?  Well, the obvious one is your...

Once again I find myself more than a little done with a post before emotion and that inner itch “force me” to change gears.   The post I was nearly finished with, that was going to go up this week, will simply have to wait another day.   I’m afraid this next string of posts will deal with nothing more entertaining and scintillating than domestic life.    If you are looking for either Reason or Continuity within this blog, I am so very afraid to tell you that you have come to the wrong place.  I'm all over the place today. Today is about dinner parties, the decision making of the Chinese Man, (and laowai), and the inlaws. There are an incredible number of laowai that can’t get enough of Chinese Girls.  So much so, you feel the need to even take the plunge and Marry One.   Last night we had a dinner party for my youngest daughters piano solo.  (quick count…8 adult guests plus us 4.  5 kids plus my two:  13 ...

( This is the first of a series. I won’t write many of these,  and no I will NOT be overly explicit.  I obviously won’t be writing about every chick I’ve met, but a few stand out.   Only a few.  Pls give me some slack.  I've written over 130 posts over a two year period, covering a very wide array of topics....I'd be dishonest to myself and my life in China if I didn't include the below as a topic as well. ) I lived in Futian for about 7 years, and kept an apartment there until only recently.  Futian is one of the better districts of Shenzhen.  Close enough to Hong Kong, while still far enough away from the noise of the city.   A popular bar/club among the ordinary Chinese at the time was called Chicago.  I had heard it was actually the first bar in Shenzhen.  It was at the stadium in Luohu.   I don’t know why stadiums tend to attract clubs.  (Workers Stadium in Beijing?)  Chicago turned into one of...

(My daughter was in Beijing this summer.  She is in 7th grade.  Her mom made the oh so brilliant decision to buy her a "I love Beijing Tshirt".....except it says "I love BJ".  Upon seeing the shirt when they returned from Beijing, my face literally fell.  Now she comes downstairs this morning for school, wearing this shirt.   I wonder what she will say when she comes home today. I wonder if this is the day my little girl's innocence is shattered. ) It’s that time…….time in general to catchup. First, kudos to the readers: Iraq…thank you for finding time for me…whether you read me for sheer laughs or to drown out the noise of rocket fire, I dig it all the same. Ukraine….. Russian tanks on the border….check Imminent all out Civil War….check All the same, glad you gotta get your daily “My China Kanfa” fix! (Is there a theme developing here…?) Kazakhstan…..thx for coming back. Jordan….welcome.  Must feel good to know y...

“This post makes me feel sick. Coming across this blog accidentally - I find it absolutely degrading and disgusted as an American born Chinese woman. You speak as if Chinese women were objects, not human beings. What rights do you have to tell the world for what steps they have to take in order to marry a Chinese woman. How am I any different than you, let alone anyone else? Oh yeah, let me just tell some Chinese woman how to marry a Western man. Like fuck, who the hell wants to be degraded? You are disgusting, this post is disgusting, this blog is digusting, and so are your followers. You don't have any rights to teach anyone how to marry a Chinese woman, let alone telling ME how I should be. Fuck off, and I'm glad you a got a woman who can cater to your every needs so that no other woman can be tricked into your mindless stupidity. OH BTW, JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT- I'M AN ABC. “ Above is the post I’ve been waiting for, for quite some time, and it’s alas finally ...

Here I am.  A businessmen.  I have spent since 2005 approx 50-60% of my time in China each year.  Sometimes I go for 2 months nonstop.  Until recently I had an apartment.  Then I decided to not renew the lease.   I wanted the flexibility of a hotel.   My rare, fancy 2 year visa, after many renewals, has now gone the way of the dinosaur, and I find I’m now back on the traditional one year multiple re-entry.   I am amused when companies fret about their workers having “an authorized residence permit”.  I haven’t had one in over twenty years.   I expect I will never have another.   For those of us that live and work near Hong Kong what’s the point?  But more about this below. My wife, her friends….they all judge my level of success by the frequency I travel to China.   China, much more than America, is a nation where one’s status is driven by “achievement”.    “What tall b...

The phone call came in my last semester of graduate school.   I had several housemates, but the voicemail was addressed to me.   A mysterious voice asking if I’d be interested in “an international opportunity”.     The voice of the fellow sounded somewhat middle aged, but not too old.  I was rather anxiously looking for a job at that time.  So upon hearing the voicemail again, I called the number given to me. The same fellow answered and promptly told me the vaguely described job would be with the CIA.  In a matter of seconds he described the job as a “NOC” position.  I asked him what that was.  He explained to me that NOC stood for “non official cover”.     I still didn’t get it.   He further explained that I would be “stationed in China, preferably for at least 20 years, the longer the better”.   He told me he was a retired former CIA man himself, living in Washington....