Things I Relearned Part 2 Don't Marry a Rich Girl

I know a 30 something Sichuan girl.  Known her a long time actually.  And maybe someday I'll tell that story.  She owns an ice cream franchise.  Has about 6 trucks spread around the city of Guangzhou.  Makes more than I do.  Wildly successful. 

And can't find a boyfriend.

She's gorgeous.  Very confident, and outgoing.

One day she finally gets her break.  Meets a guy.  Same age.  During the evening she tells him more about herself.  See above.

Following day she gets a WeChat from a mutual friend of theirs.  Maybe it was posted as  a moment.  But the moment was as follows:

"I can't date(marry) a woman who has her own business."

She's still alone.  Sending out WeChat moments from clubs and meals with friends.  Surrounded by her independent minded, single, middle aged Chinese girlfriends.

When I ask her why the guy chose this method of communication, she simply shrugged and said "this is how Chinese Men breakup."

In the interim she still believes she will marry a man who makes more than her. 

A few weeks ago I was in Ningbo.  I came across another beautiful factory owner of a simple packaging company.  I asked where the owner was.  She told she was the owner.  She claims to never have been married.  She's 43.

In the car afterwards I asked the Sales Guy about her.

"China Man doesn't want to marry a powerful woman.  Not someone making more them him".

So America 1950's....60's.....and yes even now.

Why can't China Man simply marry for love?  This is my question.
Must he simply marry to be "head of the house"?

Must he always "marry down"? 

How many lonely, China Woman are out there?  Proud and stubborn.  Letting "money" be the deciding factor determining one's lonliness.

So will Sichuan Girl eventually just rush into marriage to shut her ownself up?   That's what Ningbo Girl did.  And she looks happy to me.

China Man....whatever fool passed up on Sichuan Girl was an idiot.  Beyond all measure, you dropped the ball Boy.  You are a reflection of how truly unconfident China Man really is.....right?  Or is China Man just real wise?  What is he thinking, passing on a beautiful woman such as Sichuan Girl?  Maybe she was too good to be true?

Too many good looks.
Too much money.

Not ugly enough?
Not poor enough?



  1. "丑妻近地家中宝" For non-readers of Chinese a famous chinese idiom-"an ugly wife is a treasure at home." Some lady used the english version as a book title a few years ago. If you think about it makes total sense from China Man's viewpoint. He can go play on the side anyway and have a knock out mistress or whatever. However, for the formal part of life where maintaining face is paramount a wife that he views as not problematic is preferred. Raise kids, take care of the house, present perfect face to the community. The Western idea of putting it all together in one partner is not normal in China.

  2. I have been surprised more than a few times by the seemingly willingness of China Wife to accept the unstoppable. In many ways China Man having a side lover is simply the new normal within China. It is simply assumed. In my instances not even questioned. As long as China Wife reigns supreme in the household. Still, I believe divorce is simply more acceptable for the younger generation, which fights alot anyway than for the midlife generation of Chinese. I wonder what the divorce rates are for the two separate generations...?


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