Time for a "fluff" post....

Today I’d like to talk about the results of the recent China Congress, and what factions within that Congress are vying for what……

Oh fuck that!

Today is “Fluff Post” Day!
Today is not the post to read about the Uighurs….I’ve damn near given up trying to be “high brow” with you guys.

Am I disappointed that you guys don’t really care so much abt the serious topics I occasionally write about?

I need to admit, that in the beginning, I was.   But it’s my fault.   Because I know fuck all about what is happening in Zhongnanhai(nor does anyone else), so by default all I can do is write about what I see around me, either when in Shenzhen, or in the States’.

(At last count I have over 110 original posts here.  Nothing regurgitated from a news outlet.  Some topics in common yes, but all with original thought.  I'm glad to see some of you still perusing them.)

My thoughts on local things around me are piling up, and I’d really like to talk abt them a bit.

My wife Part 1

My wife has one personality attribute I’m not too much of an admirer of.  (there are several of mine, she can’t stand.  Listening to podcasts while at home is one of them)

She’s everybody’s friend. 

I don’t like that.

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s good to be friendly.   But it’s a fact of life that when one is too accessible one sooner or later will be taken advantage of.  Simple as that.  And in my view, many people within our Chinese community have done just that.   Thus she often finds herself busy helping others, to the detriment of having her own personal time.  

I’m proud to say I’m the opposite.   I’m not a cold person.  I just give off vibes.  People don’t readily approach me for help.  And that’s just fine by me. 

I’ve told my wife to learn how to say “no”.    While my wife is more than capable of saying “no” to me, this word is not part of her normal vocabulary usage when helping others.   Thus she is often taken advantage of.   As a result the phone never stops ringing.

The phone often rings during dinnertime.   I now have to forcibly(imagine muscles flexed with a Superman jaw) ask her not to answer the phone as we all sit down for dinner.   It really is one of my pet peeves when my wife is talking while we all are forced to eat without her.  

Then I find myself asking out loud just who in the hell would call during dinnertime?   I used to simply answer the phone before my wife did, tell them curtly it’s dinnertime and she’ll call back, or if late at night, simply tell them it’s too late.   (my daughters are in bed by this time as well. )

I’ve paid a price for this.  My wife get’s irritated by my actions.  And most of my wive’s friends have stopped inviting us to group dinners, or holidays.

“We’ll wait til your husband is back in China”, they say.

What it boils down to is I have a wife that just can’t say “NO” to anything.  I’ve mentioned in the past how she has this problem with her parents. 

Now some people would call this a “nice, obedient, traditional Chinese girl”.

I’d call it being bullied. 

Good grief.

View Count Update

Thank you Aruba for showing up!

Tanzania….Congo…ditto!

Pakistan….Iran….nice to see you again!

My views are overwhelmingly from the United States.  But I guess I get views from maybe a dozen to fifteen different countries a day.   While my daily view counts aren’t enormous, it’s a good feeling to see that my blog is still viewed here and there.   On average I’d say one of my posts equates to what a popular Atlantic Monthly post would get.  This is thoroughly a personal blog.  You won’t be getting any summaries of the ‘news’ here.    No breakdown of any Congress.  We all know where to go for those.

It would be easy for me to greatly increase my view counts, I know.  All I’d need to do is reminisce about all my sexual experiences, thrust by thrust.   (That would do it!) 

Don’t count on it though. 

The story of the bodyshop and the letter
My wife has three female friends that have all lost their husbands.  Two of them within the past 6 months. One of which was entirely “healthy” before dying of lung cancer.   A nonsmoker at that.  Go figure.   Both while I was back in Shenzhen.   She went to the funerals.  

One particular widow is a tall, gangly lady from Dongbei.   Very thin.  She’s a nurse here in America and works two 12 hour shifts per week.   (That’s it.  She makes abt $50k annual)

One of a few other nurses we know.  (It scares me she doesn’t speak English so well.  Actually, none of the Chinese nurses in America we know speak English very well. ) While the death of a spouse is maddenly tragic even to endure, and I hope it never happens to me, we’ve not been too happy with how she’s tried to use this event to her advantage.  

Case in point:

A few weeks ago her car had some body shop issues that needed to be addressed.   Her son had driven out in the snow and promptly wrecked it.  She got the quote of $4000 from the local dealership.  She felt it was, high, mentioned she was recently widowed, and the Toyota dealership responds by fixing it for free!  Even I was aghast.  (she then called us and asked if she should drop off a few dozen doughnuts to the bodyshop..?)

Regrettably, that sent this recent widower the wrong message.

How so?

At the same time this was taking place her son was applying for college.  However, his grades were not even good enough to merit acceptance into the local state university.(I’ve been finding out not all Chinese moms here are Tiger Moms)  As such, he will only be able to gain acceptance to a 2nd tier school.   The tuition is cheap, and mother doesn’t seem to mind.   Yet during the application process, she had a fierce argument with her son.   When writing his essay she told him to write about his late father.  Without question, she was trying to leverage a tragic situation in the wrong way.   Her experience in the body shop simply encouraged the attempt.   To her son’s credit, he refused.    His rightfully placed obstinance earned him a slap in the face from his mother.   The boy got in anyway.
I hesitate to call the above an example of an Ugly Chinese.   Rather, I’d like to think it was someone, because of having benefited unexpectedly from the good will of someone else, who upon discovering the power of a previously unknown weapon, mistakenly thought this power could be applied again in another situation. 

 Our 15 yr old guest

I’ve alluded to this young lady in a couple of previous posts.   In short, she’s a millionaire in waiting, because of her parent’s real estate.  She just doesn’t know it yet.  She’s addicted to her Iphone and American TV shows, is very mature for her age, and I must admit speaks rather nice English, for only having lived her a bit more than one semester.

However, she is a great reflection of China’s urban youth.   She tested in the bottom 1% of her High School entrance exam(for America), still got accepted to a school, and wouldn’t you know it, get’s straight A’s. 

Wow!

Now, there are a few things I want to say here.  One is that all over the world, there are private high schools teetering on bankruptcy, that have been “saved” due to the sudden influx of Chinese Money.  Good for the high schools, and good for the parents.

SO-SO for the kid.  Going to a so-so high school will not impress all those high flying universities that these young Chinese kids aspire, to.   In short, I doubt these kids need to work very hard to get those straight A’s.  Yet she was turned down by every high school except one. 
Her parents pay $40,000 a year for tuition, room and board.   And they plan on doing this until she graduates from college!

These are good people and they are very serious abt their daughter.   We’ve tried in vain to get her parents to get her to apply to a more challenging private high school.  She’d have a better chance of getting accepted, for sure. 

Her parents are fighting the idea.  Again, this goes to show that not every Chinese mom is a Tigermom.   

However, the other day when spending the weekend with us, this 15 yr old revealed to us her goal is to go to Stanford.    Still oblivious to the quality of her school, we candidly told her she would have to go to a better school if she wanted to go to Stanford.   Not at all to my surprise she is fighting the idea.
It’s good to have aspirations, but one must put in the work as well.   While I admit to generalizing, my interactions with China’s Urban Youth are pretty much reflective of the above.   All desire no sweat.   Still, a great report card will definitely get her into our Finest State School. 

Our neverending schedule

I’ve accepted the fact I will just have one day a week with the kids, to do things I want to do.  That day is Saturday, in the afternoon.   Weekdays are out of the question.  Sat morn are swim lessons.  Than to math studyhall, than free in the afternoon.  This is our time.  Our one time in the week.   I work hard to get them outside, hiking, or some other outdoor activity. 

(Before I continue below I do want to say my oldest does receive report cards now, and she did get all A’s this quarter.  And it is my goal to keep them both busy.  And it is a fine line to walk.  And their mom is selfless in this regard )

Sundays are violin lessons with some Chinese guy 30 miles away at 10am.  Than Chinese school all afternoon.   I guess I shouldn’t complain the kids being busy so much.  They both have two instruments now, the piano as well as the violin. 

It’s apparently easier to learn violin once you’ve played piano.  The older one learns a lot of stilted stuff in violin.   I’ve exposed her to more Americana though, to mom’s chagrin.  She can now play both Amazing Grace and Dixie on the violin.   I figure her Chinese teacher will never teach her those things.  It’s up to me.

The 7 year did have a cry this week.  She told me while crying that the Chinese piano teacher criticized her lesson.   Said she wasn’t good enough.  Said she wasn’t playing hard enough.   I believe my daughter when I hear those things, and I don’t like it one bit when the teacher takes the lessons too seriously.  I’d rather my kinds enjoy both the teacher and the music a bit more than they do now.  Problem is my wife likes the discipline.  It’s all about the achievement, and enjoyment itself takes a back seat.   And my wife is the feudal one.  Rarely disagrees with a teacher. 

Still I continue to believe my girls’ do need a bit more downtime in the day.  (I’m working on it)

If you’ve made it this far, ….my wife Part 2

I finally figured out my wife’s breasts are 36 D’s.  For years I’ve been wanting to buy her something, but it seems most of her lingerie was foreign bought, with foreign sizes, and I was baffled for the longest time.

The other day she came home with some new things, and they are sexy as hell.  That’s how I know after 21 years of marriage finally know my wife’s rack size.   I wish she’d let me take a pic of them, but she’s not there yet.  I don’t know too many 36 D’s in China, but it’s always a blast when we make love, and she’s on top. 

Now, I have come across a few others that approach and actually exceed her in size, but their legs are as thick as trees.   (my wife is also a size 2)

I may someday do a post on our sex life.  I think it would be educational to discuss how the sex life of a laowai and his mainland Sino wife have evolved over two decades.  Ours is still strong. 
She was making breakfast for the kids yesterday in a T-shirt and pj’s, nipples looking very stately, I might add,  and I was ready to throw her on the kitchen island. 

We MEN all have to define ourselves.  We’re either a tits or an ass fellow.  I decided late in life I was an Ass guy.   I’m now rethinking that position.

And lastly….how do you know your Chinese wife/lover has finally mentally “left” her native country and settled down snugly in yours?  
When she stops taking a quickie shower after sex……




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