Too much fun @ Debauchery Inc

I’ve alluded to the place I used to work, in previous posts.  I had some good times.  Made some good money.  Yes, I’m a bit unhappy that I didn’t quite get what I felt I should’ve gotten.   But in dreary times such as these, it’s important not to forget the good times had by many, along with the outright stupid things Sr Mgt did when left to it’s own devices. 

Why take the boat?

Our Sr Director of Asian Operations, along with his cohorts frequently partied it up.  The CFO was no exception.  Both were “let’s have fun” Europeans.   Both pretty much had wives for cooking, and that’s about it.  Our CFO was a great guy.  (more on him later) Our Asian operations Team worked hard, and so had to party hard.  They were a bunch of swell guys.  Extremely talented. 

Problem is they all liked to go to Macau. 

Do you go to Macau for sightseeing?  I thought not.

In Macau you had gambling.  They all loved the gambling.  And in Macao you had not only Chinese, but plenty of Russian prostitutes.  Macao has ladies of every stripe. 

Back to working hard…..that meant no time to take the damn boat to Macao!  Did I mention they lived in Hong Kong?  (I was stuck up in Shenzhen, so I was pretty much left to my own devices.  And I didn’t have the free spending ways that they did, and I didn’t like prostitutes.)

So it got to the point that instead of taking an hour long boat ride to Paradise, our guys got in the habit of taking the helicopter to Fun.  Expensed of course.   Did I mention the CFO liked to party, too?

I don’t know if our US ofc ever figured out if the HKG Team took the chopper to Macau or not…..and it happened more than once.  Taking the chopper to Macao was the ballsiest thing I ever heard them do.  It even beat the stories below. 

Our Asian Operations Director loses his Blackberry….again!

This time he didn’t actually lose it….it was taken by a prostitute for collateral in lieu of payment.   He’d passed out(slept the whole day actually), after sex, and his hard working score was up bright and early of course.   I sat on the couch as she walked out of the bedroom, and promptly asked her if she wanted a coffee.  She said no thanks.  Took in the view from our balcony.  And left. 

Once my boss knew his phone was gone, he promptly enlisted one of our trusty HKG guys to somehow contact this woman.  This he did(I have no idea how he managed to do so), and he wired her the money she needed.  My boss still didn’t get his phone back though. 

His biggest concern? 

He was worried his wife would call.

The Day my Boss thought he had Aids

As I lived in Shenzhen, and the ofc was in HKG, I sometimes had to make trips to the main ofc.  There weren’t many of us there, than.   Instead of staying at a hotel, I simply stayed in my boss’ aprt.   His wife had yet to arrive from Europe.    We’d go party and he’d usually bring back a Latino from Columbia, or what have you.  He had a thing for them.   One day he brought one back just before the end of year break.    His protection didn’t hold up, and wouldn’t ya know….it was that certain time of the month when the Lady shouldn’t have been working!  Of course this guy freaked out.   Conservative, polite fellow by day, he was Mr. Danger by night. 

Well, he freaked abt this.  Promptly went to get an HIV check.  Apparently in Hong Kong it takes 2 weeks to get the results back.  While in Europe for the Xmas holidays, he would continuously call HKG for info. 

No feedback.

Finally, the day came and he just couldn’t handle the stress any longer.  This grown man with all this authority in the OFC was just a broken down creature at the end of the day.   He was certain he was positive.  He decided to tell his mom and dad he had contracted the Virus. 

The very next day HKG called and told him he was negative.

The CFO finally gets caught

We had a pretty cool CFO.  A nice fellow married to his wife just a bit too long.  I found him quite competent, and along with our Director of Asian Operations, and other high ranking members of our company, was out on a regular basis.   I of course was stuck in Shenzhen.  Needless to say, he developed the wandering eye in no time, and while his wife was away was having more than a go with the Filipino ladies he came across in the bar streets of Hong Kong Island.    I found his wife to be stodgy, a little too serious, and just not very fun to be around. 

Two things about his wife:  she wasn’t dumb, and she liked to travel back to her native country during the holiday season.   It seems Europeans took their 6 week holidays very seriously. 

As for our friendly CFO?  Well….he was quite the risk taker.  You see, unlike the DAO, whose wife was a bit naïve about things, and the Sr VP(see the 10 million dollar man), who could fly to Hong Kong just to get away from things at home, the CFO had a wife that pretty much knew the game.   Still, he partook of the fun whenever he could, and one night, the night before his wife actually flew home, he did just that, with his Filipina gf. 

With his wife on the plane heading back to lonely Hong Kong, he decided to spend the night in his aprt, with his gf, and in his bed.  Crazy.

Still, he and his gf did a superb job the next morning of cleaning up after themselves.  All the long black, hairs….everything.  Everything was perfect.

Except for one thing.

His wife came home from the airport, to their aprt, happy to see her husband, none the wiser……she put  her bags on the bed, and of course headed for the bathroom….where looking down into the wastebasket she saw the condom from the previous night.(our DOA had by this point simply started screwing the ladies in hotels that charged by the hour…he’d cover their scent before going home by going to McDonald’s…..???)

Our shocked lady promptly punished her husband by checking into a 5 star hotel for 5 days.   She than banned him from coming to China to see me(what did I do?). 

Alas….our CFO soon met his demise all the same.   Whilst with another Filipino gf, he was caught yet again.  Here we slide into conjecture….the fellow assumes he was caught at the mall holding hands with his recent conquest.   The USA HR ofc of course heard of this.  He assumes Asian HR did him in(it is here one must know that ironically enough, Asian HR reported in to him!)

He was let go shortly after.  The American CFO, a female, mentioned how “disappointed in him” she was. 

Our Sr VP returns

Remember the 10 Mln Dollar Man, yes?

He’s back!

This fellow…well, he quickly becomes ensconced with the place, ie Hong Kong and China.   While he’s enjoying Sodom and Gomorrah, he’s suddenly “needed” in Asia more and more.    He’s welcome with open arms.   Why?  He provides cover for everyone else!   Slowly, he’s brought over to the Dark Side.   I once calculated he spent on average $1000 a week on sex when on biz trips.    His MO was to stop 3 days before his return home.   Why?   He’d need to be rested once he was home, in order to take care of his wife.   And of course within 3 days he’d know if he’d gotten the clapp.

He never learned his lesson though.  Even after both the CFO and DAO(see below), both took a fall, he was still going strong.   As classmates of the CEO, he was afforded a level of protection most of us did not have.    He was an untouchable.  HR simply didn’t have the balls to go after him.  And it showed.  During the waning days of my tenure at the company, while we were having lunch, he opened his company laptop, and showed me a few pix of his newest Asian“girlfriend”.   She was around 22. 

“I always slip her an envelope of cash when she’s in the shower”, he proudly smiled.

Investigation of Director

And now we come to the end.  The sad decline, and yet rise again from the ashes of our Director of Asian Directions.   His survivability tells one all he needs to know about the workings of an American company.    

Lose your cellphone for all the wrong reasons….  not a problem.

Have a supplier complain you showed up to a meeting with alcohol on your breath….ditto

Have another mention he saw you on a Sunday morning at 10:30 staggering down the street in Hong Kong drunk….ditto.  (after all it is the weekend)

Tell everyone in the ofc one certain part can only be bought from one certain supplier….same.

And the crème de la crème…..make sure when the Sr VP of Supply Chain(you’re a Director, remember?) is visiting a supplier you recommend for a certain production process, that you are there.  Don’t be off with the leader of said supplier partying…..in Vegas!   On the same day that said SR VP is at the factory!

Dumbass!

Finally, oh what a surprise, this guy was investigated internally for corruption.   Biggest open secret in Hong Kong.  The people doing the investigation were smart enough not to interview me.   And they were smart enough not to interview our own employees,  that could have given said description of how said Director made his money.    And the supplier that made the complaint abt this guy showing up half drunk to a biz meeting wasn’t interviewed either!  What a surprise.

Now why did I say this is an American company?  Because the fellow above was talented as hell.  Absolutely brilliant at the job.   So we simply looked the other way.  And now he’s…..a VP.