"You're too old for this!"

I have realized only belatedly that I do indeed have a somewhat healthy sex drive.
I am middle aged. Good shape.  And I confess to very much like sex.  And I think my skills have "aged" rather nicely, thank you very much.

I have a youthful vigor, and a youthful outlook.  I'm not ugly but yeah lack of sleep has given me bags under these blue eyes.  But "I travel well", so to speak.   I do not look my age.

My wife is nicely endowed and just shocked the hell out of me by doing pushups, and doing them right.  She is very pretty and doesn't, in my view, look her age either.  I like her fashion.  She is "fair".    That is, she criticizes both China and America.

Does the China Wife in your country do the same?

Is she "fair" to both France and China?  Australia?  Brazil?

I find the only statistic that matters is that quite frankly, there are far, far, far more Chinese coming here, living here, staying here, than Americans going there, living there, staying there. 

But China Wife, despite her good looks, decent salary, and extremely capable demeanor, is "old" and traditional in her outlook.  She's bitter, sure.  Bitter she met me, bitter "Her Man" isn't loaded.  Angry my parents don't have a cattle ranch in Texas or a hilltop mansion in San Francisco with a view of the bay. 

I've slowly, very slowly accepted and gotten over the fact I married young, too young, and she the same.   I too was bitter my dad didn't break my nose when I told him at the grizzly age of 25 I wanted to get married. 

But China Wife is the greatest Social Snob I've ever known/known.  And I knew it before I married her, and so yeah I got what I deserved.  I've paid the piper many, many times over.  I've made that dude a rich man.

In short, I've accepted my lot in life. 

But there are two things I've yet to accept, or contemplate doing:

Divorcing and losing half my wealth.   No matter how emotionally healthy it would make me.
And giving up sex.  Ain't gonna happen.  No way, no fucking no how.

Cease and Desist.

My wife is not at all in my view "youthful" in her mid age.  Still honestly pretty as ever, and I do declare her body is too.

But she's woefully inadequate in bed, mechanical and stubborn.  And typical as ever, resistant to change.  Woe is me.

China Wife has flat out admitted she does not need a man anymore.   She would sleep in a separate bedroom if I'd look the other way.

You see, what I'm trying to say is China Wife is tired of sex.  No reason in particular.  Certainly not that she's bad at it, because she doesn't care.  She refuses to admit that even when not in the mood with Fontenot, I'll put her in the mood within minutes.

No, she simply has decided she is now past the stage of having sex in her life, and if she could would simply check it as a "done that been there" box.

Is this my fault?  God how I've thought of this.  Let me answer it this way:

She thinks I should give up sex now too.

You see, she thinks me be too old as well to so cravenly want to satisfy those cravenly needs all selfish men have.  I plead very, very guilty.

I like China for all the right reasons.  Mainly because it makes me feel young.  Yeah, the Chinese have no idea who I am.  What I've seen, what I've down, where I've been.  To them I'm just another "Taking from China" laowai. 

But why stay entangled within this dark web when I can play amongst the fields and sunshine and flowers?

It's utterly depressing to hear my wife, as she did recently during sex, to blurt out,

"You're too old for this!"

WTF? 

China Wife is good at guilting.  We here in America of course call it good old fashioned emotional abuse.

My youngest daughter is straight A's.  All State in music.  All World everything.  And low maintenance too boot.  But now you see she has an 89 in her toughest class with two weeks to go.

And what does she start doing during dinner?

Well, guilting and shaming my daughter of course.  Just like she did the oldest.

As I've said before, I have two options; bitch slap my wife or try and emotionally talk this through while continuously fighting to maintain my children's self esteem.   I find the former option more satisfying of course but seems the cost would indeed eventually outweigh any benefit I would receive.

"Real men talk it through!" 

Uh ok.

Now she's tried to guilt shame me too.  It's as if she's expecting me to write a self criticism.

"I'm sorry honey.  Let me stop what I'm doing and put my dick back in my pants."

China Wife meanwhile continues to live her life guilt free, with her "this is who I am" attitude.  Neither apologetic, nor chastened.  After all, as I've said before, her parents haven't seen each other naked in 40 years.  Thus isn't her mom the same way?  And her dad....well, we can't say bad things about nice men. 

As for me? Well, call me a stubborn optimist.  I'll try again tonight.






Comments

  1. “Divorcing and losing half my wealth. No matter how emotionally healthy it would make me.”

    What does money give you that being happy (in the “content” sense of the word) wouldn’t? Surely there couldn’t a better time to consult the ancient wisdom on this, whether from the east or west? People struggled with this (not the 50% bit though) thousands of years ago and they found the solutions already! Has anything about money or happiness changed since then?

    If you wish that one day you’ll be able to write a post talking about how happy you are with life, my guess is that your wealth won’t help you to get there (I would even bet that losing all of it might even help...). You might get much less traffic though because there’s a lot more people who are unhappy with their life than those who are happy.

    In another post you talk about the difficult but much-needed task of introspection, both for people and nations. Creating a better life (whether for ourselves or other people) requires change, which doesn’t always come easy. Should we also expect it from ourselves if we expect it from others?

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    Replies
    1. Indeed we should. I choose America as an example. We are about to undertake a reckoning for the good. A painful introspection. But it will make us better off. It will make us an emotionally healthier country, with a stronger identity as a nation. I challenge any nation to survive Trump and be more better than worse off. But let's not forget. There is a reason he came to power. He is not a symptom, more a side effect of the disease itself.

      Regarding happiness, of course you are right. Many a wealthy man eats alone, with an empty soul. Many a wealthy man envies a poor man walking hand in hand with his wife or lover. A wealthy man is perpetually insecure, because he is never sure if his companion is with him due to wealth or genuine Love. Or if a Chinese woman in China is with him because of the color of his eyes, or his ability to simply take her out?

      Thus my belief is a laowai really seeks love in China, much better to find a divorced or older China Woman.

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