By Request. Chinese Girls vs Hong Kong Girls

I swear I've written about this topic before!

So certain am I that the post could not be found......I searched high and low, alas it was nowhere to be seen.

350 posts will do that to you.

This is a topic with clear implications for both sides.  I've seen it closeup multiple times.

One day I noticed a loud noise.  Loud voices coming from the neighbor next door.  Eventually, I walked outside into the hallway and sure enough, there was an argument between the mother of my beautiful Chinese neighbor and her Hong Kong husband.  And the mother in law had left the door open for all to hear.   There was nothing we could do.  I wasn't the only one stuck with the noise.  Even when I stepped out for a part of the day and came back, it was still going strong.  You see he was a cop, and though he lived in China, he worked in Hong Kong everyday. 

It turns out one day when he was supposedly going to work, he instead took a simple detour to a coffee shop, where unbeknownst to him, a friend of his beautiful Chinese wife witnessed him meeting up with.....another woman!(sound effects please)

And of course this friend told his wife.   The argument went on all day.

It didn't help that the apartment was owned by China Girl.  She probably made more than Hong Kong Guy as well.

Listening to the argument the entire day, as it was a Sunday afternoon, I couldn't help but be reminded of my wife.  Of how public she liked to argue.   When we lived in Hong Kong she suddenly started berating me on the subway, in Mandarin.  The reason why I've long since forgotten.

However, my response I will not forget.  Mandarin in Hong Kong in 1996 was still a rarity.  A car full of bored, passionless men suddenly looked in my wife's direction, toward the sound of her voice.  My wife, most unfortunately, is like her father, cursed with a loud screeching voice.   It sucks.  I've accepted it.  At dinner parties I can hear her across the room, usually surrounded by Chinese men, while their jealous wives gossip with each in a dark corner.

My response to my wife's harangue was simple.  Without saying a word, and looking straight ahead, I simply walked off the train at the next station, in a slow gait, as the doors opened.  Leaving her there alone, speaking to herself.

Hong Kong men in my view usually marry two types of women.   Working class HK Man marries a beautiful peasant from the countryside.  Basically the same social strata as himself.  But someone he will socially feel secure with.  Someone with lower expectations.  For instance, she won't expect to live in HK.  China will be fine, thank you.

Then there is the other Hong Kong Guy.   A successful businessman, most likely a factory owner, that falls in love with his KTV girl.  Very pretty.   During the 90's upward through the early part of the 2000's, I would often see a beautiful, though not necessarily young woman with a baby in first class on the KCR going into HK from Luohu.  At most 30.  Tall with long hair and very nice skin. 

They didn't "look" like a Hong Kong girl, and this is an important point to make.  Hong Kong girls look like Japanese women, who in turn are more Westernized.   They are extremely goal focused on getting a husband.   Though in a different way from the Mainland China Girl.

As soon as China Girl in First Class spoke Mandarin you knew.  One also knew she hadn't a clue how to speak Cantonese.   It's tough for Mainland China girl to get along with her in-laws. 

While China Girl had a baby with Hong Kong Dude, China Girl never really wanted to live in Hong Kong.  Because that would mean living with his parents.  Or constantly being surrounded by them.  No, China would do just fine.  Hong Kong will be acceptable mind you, for my(our) children's medical needs.  But that was about it.  Yeah, you can apply for my Hong Kong residence permit, but living on my turf(in China) suits me find. 

The irony of course is that more and more, those same in-laws now live in China!

So what in my view are the main differences between Hong Kong Girl and China Girl?

To be blunt it is the sense of amorality that China Girl has.  Both are focused.  Hong Kong Girl looks for a husband by trying to get a job in a Hong Kong bank, or lawyer's office.  Hong Kong girl likes her KTV, but with her friends.  But as she lives in Hong Kong, she has no quota on which Western movies she can watch.

There is no internet censorship.  If she wants to, she can quickly get up to speed with any Gwailo and discuss America's involvement in Afghanistan.  China Girl couldn't find Afghanistan on a map. 

Do Hong Kong women pursue the laowai?  Of course!  But their reason is different from that of China Girl's.  They are not curious, as they've seen Western men in Hong Kong all their lives.  They won't stare, or wonder why our arms are so hairy.  They won't readily give in to stereotypes either.  They have personal experience.  

China Girl will have sex with the Laowai out of curiosity.  Just give her a reason, and face. Hong Kong Girl won't.   There is no curiosity when there is neither demonizing nor mystery surrounding the local laowai. 

But you see, Hong Kong Girl hates Hong Kong Man.  Because now, thanks to the opening of China, the Mainland has become many a Hong Kong Guy's amusement ground. Look at all those scruffy, poorly dressed and permed Hong Kong dudes with the silly t-shirt all fumbling over themselves to get off the train and scramble across the border.  

For close to a generation Mainland China was putty in the hands of any Hong Kong Man.  They had status and "money".  Hong Kong Girl despised them, looked down upon their sense of opportunism.  Hong Kong didn't give a fuck.  China was green grass and high tides.  In China, Hong Kong Man was a somebody.  Free of expectations.  Just bring your money to the KTV.   It was a chance to start over.  A new life ensued anytime Hong Kong Man crossed the border.  

The women in China were just prettier.  And younger.  Many a married Hong Kong Man went over.  Yes, many had mistresses.  China Girl didn't care.  Or she was simply lied too.

In the 90's there was a very sad story of a Hong Kong Wife, upon discovering her Hong Kong Man had been screwing around in China, simply got the revenge she sought by throwing her two kids off a high rise building, before plunging to her death herself.   A Hong Kong tabloid then went with the guy to Shenzhen and photographed him with two prostitutes.  

A Hong Kong coworker of mine, whose wedding I had just attended a year earlier, didn't have to wait until having kids.  Her husband while on a business trip to Beijing was dumb enough to have credit card receipts.  She promptly divorced him.  She wasn't even 27.  

Hong Kong Girl to this day thus has a very low opinion of Hong Kong Man.  But isn't he just....being a man?  But if Sodom(Shenzhen) is only an hour away.  And an hour beyond that is another Gomorrah called Guangzhou, another city of 15 million. 

As such, Hong Kong Girl while understanding her husband must go to China on business, frequently wants him back same day.  You see, Hong Kong Girl hates China.  Hates everything about it.  What it stands for, what it has become.  China is on the hustle.  It never sleeps.  It fails, but it fails forward everyday. 

Thus Hong Kong Girl wants a guy that will never have to go to China on business.  She wants a guy with zero curiosity regarding China.  Meanwhile, doesn't any man with ambition(anywhere?) want to make in China?

Hong Kong Girl may know more about the world.  Speak English, and traveled extensively overseas. 
Understand all the brands and culturally speaking is far superior to anything China Girl can bring to the table. 

But China Girl doesn't care.  She understands Man better than perhaps any nationality alive. She doesn't have to understand Hong Kong Girl, she only has to understand what Hong Kong Guy likes.  And in her world all she needs to understand is Chinese Culture.  Which tells her the world does indeed revolve around China(aren't all the foreign devils coming here?)  The Chinese Press, the media, etc have etched that into China Girl's brain since primary school.  

China Girl doesn't need to be able to discourse with a Man, any Man, the decline of (insert the name of your own country) on the global scene, or the ill effects of climate change.  Because she knows damn well Hong Kong Man won't give a damn. 

And so sad for Hong Kong Girl, neither will any young American Male looking to have fun this weekend.  

Hong Kong Girl lives in a land of no future and dwindling prosperity.  China is FUN! Even failing in China will not set you back in America, but you'll always have a story to tell!

Hong Kong Girl is bitter and uptight.  So they strike out at Hong Kong Society by simply choosing not to marry.  I know several Hong Kong coworkers and friends, now deep in middle age, with no husband.  All they have is their dog, their rental apartment and some money in the bank.  Still burdened with the expectations of their parents.  Who now simply honestly blurt out,

"He has another in China so what, just have a kid with him!!!"

Do they dream of moving abroad? Probably. They are all very smart and highly competent. But in my view it is their incorrigible attitude that dooms them, and makes them an unattractive partner. They will always be suspicious of their man.  Like most women, I know.

China Woman in short would eat, does eat Hong Kong Woman alive.  Then spits her out and moves on to the next man.  As long as they are in China.  It is only abroad when Hong Kong Girl can utilize her advantage.  Her sophistication.  Until China Girl comes onto the scene and gives an option to the Man forced to choose.  

Yeah, I can communicate with Hong Kong Girl much more easily.  But China Girl by golly is just more fun! 

Hope I answered your question.


  1. Thank you for the write-up. It is really interesting to hear your take. So basically, the China Girl is aggressive and gets what see wants, while the Hong Kong Girl is generally brooding on the side.
    Maybe it is just a finance (and related business) thing, but when I was in HK, the gwailo always raved about the Hong Kong women as a group. I never understood why because Hong Kong women seemed very stressed and generally unhappy. Perhaps the gwailo like that they could speak English, and hold a normal conversation. The Chinese women just seemed more interesting even with their various idiosyncrasies that you highlight on this blog.

    1. You are correct. Hong Kong women are simply more Westernized. It isn't even close. Gwailo in Hong Kong also like Filipino women for the same reason. IE being able to speak English is equated with being more "Westernized". Communication is easier. And of course in Hong Kong no one stares at you.


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